Team Moose and Squirrel

2008-04-22T11:07:00.002-04:00

Senioritis

It is spring, and I feel like looking at flowers and tadpoles and things. I do not really feel like writing or like talking to people. I do it anyway, because I need to have a job and not alienate everyone in the world, but man! Writing and talking: for the birds.
I went to NY again last weekend, to see Gotham vs. Philly. Gotham's packwork is beautiful to behold. I think I heard somebody compare it to shark week.
This Thursday evening at 10:30 pm, the episode of Ace of Cakes that they filmed at the Charm City vs. Dallas bout airs. We were going to have this big viewing party at a bar near our new venue in Canton, but the bar double-booked, and the other fundraiser, for pediatric diseases or whatever, were being TOTAL PRICKS about sharing. GOD.

2008-04-18T18:59:00.001-04:00

Oh fer
Right now, "an organization or team" is talking enthusiastically about a FREE schoolbus listed on Facebook. I would rather have a free albatross, or a free poke in the leg with a rusty nail. People: LOGISTICS! CONCERNS!

2008-04-17T00:48:00.002-04:00

Ouch
Here's some video of the Night Terrors game against the Pissahs. My goodness, they beat us rather emphatically.

In the last jam, I am booty blocking Shelby Shattered (who is maybe bionic or a Transformer), and then she calls it off.

This post is cheatsville, content-wise. More tomorrow.

2008-04-15T11:20:00.003-04:00

Kitty!
Two of my housemates are on tour with their band again, and the cats are lonely. Trouble won't eat unless I sit and watch her and pet her while she does so, and Kitten wants to sleep on my face. Kitten is not the size of a kitten. He is the size of a normal cat, but much fatter. He escaped into the world the other day, and as I was trying to lure him back to the house (with cat treats, as I am part of the problem.), his belly swang from side to side as he ran. It was all I could do not to chase him. Kitty! Fat little kitty!
My neighbors know I have no dignity, shame.

2008-04-14T13:09:00.002-04:00

Scorn, scorn, yes, I get it.
Check out this proud moment in the history of sports, captured by flick'r user Dan4th. That is not an ordinary Baltimore wipe out, my friends. That is my butt hitting the exotic foreign concrete of the Aleppo Shriner's Auditorium in Wilmington, Massachusetts. I suspect that the number of extant pictures of me falling on my butt is truly sobering.
The Wicked Pissahs beat the Night Terrors 100-61 in this 40 minute expo bout. As always, I was sort of hoping my team would win, but the Pissahs have some excellent skaters, and they're also at the peak of their season, whereas the Night Terrors were bouting together for the first time since October...and minus some vets, and plus some newer skaters. Our rookies are talented, but it takes a while to get used to playing with new people.
As always, the Boston Derby Dames were gracious hosts, and provide us with our weight in candy.

2008-04-09T13:23:00.002-04:00

Charm City Roller Girls, Season 3

On May 3rd, my derby league starts its 3rd season of public bouts. I started skating with the league a little less than 4 years ago, and it's crazy to me that I've stuck with it this long.
This year my team, The Night Terrors, lost Joy Collision--one of the most noteworthy players on the league and nationally--to the Mobtown Mods in team trades. But! we gained Radar Love from the Dolls, and so far we've drafted Minnie Piledriver and Juicy Brute from the pool of fresh meat.

As I've mentioned before, we're going to be in a new venue, too, Du Burns Arena in Canton (just off Boston Street, near the water.)

You should come!

2008-04-08T09:45:00.002-04:00

Missed another one.

I have a nail in my tire, and plenty of other small problems, but no big ones. I am drinking good coffee, and my chair is padded. I was recently snubbed by a restaurant hostess, but my skin is thick--and radiant.
Later today, I have to fax things and do paperwork. This weekend, I am taking a van ride to the greater Boston area.

2008-04-06T00:21:00.002-04:00

Well, shit.

I guess I am too weak for content challenge this time around. Two days in a row! I spent Saturday mainly in transit. Got up at 5:30 and shortly met up with a carpool going to a small warehouse in Queens for a men's derby event. Watched some really enthusiastic left turns for most of the day, then came home.
Next weekend, I'm going to Boston, which will actually be a shriner's hall in Wilmington. It's a small, small world.
The skating was a treat to watch, though. The warehouse really is small, just big enough for a track laid in diagonally. There are pillars in the middle, padded with athletic mats, as are the walls and the rolling metal gates. From outside, when someone got knocked into those, it sounded like an explosion.

2008-04-03T17:24:00.002-04:00

Creamed scorn!

Oh, dear. Yesterday, I just opted out. Sorry, content challenge. Sorry, derby practice. It was an endurance practice, too, and heaven knows it's practical to endure all kinds of things (I have made so many variations on this joke. It's tired, like me!).
I'm still planning on a trip to New York to see some Boy Derby this weekend. If only it were Boy Steeplechasing! I do like to see them leap the ditches and hedges! Just kidding. I mean, I am going to see a men's roller derby event. It's going to be a lot of fun, I suspect, even without a hedge or a ditch.
Then, it looks like I'm going to Montreal at the end of May to play one of their teams and enjoy delicious non-US candy. Oh, Canada. You are so pretty and nice.

2008-04-01T18:27:00.002-04:00

April
Hey, April fools, I hope you are having a good day. I didn't get personally pranked even once! I saw several internet pranks, but you probably did, too.
I guess the biggest prank so far is that for some reason the skin is peeling off the tips of my fingers. I would suspect dishpan hands, or some reaction to harsh cleaning products, but I don't really ever clean. Sorry: I speak unpleasant truths. I am not trying to be braggy about it. My life would be better in many ways if I wasn't content to live in filth and clutter.
This weekend I'm going to NEW YORK CITY!

2008-03-31T18:06:00.002-04:00

Oh my!

Guess what?! Expelled, the documentary hosted by Ben Stein, which purports to tell the story of how Creationists are SILENCED by big science (I am disappointed: I was hoping it was going to be about being expelled from the garden of Eden), was made in a way that involved a really amazing amount of duplicity and manipulation! Wacky! www.expelledexposed.com

2008-03-30T17:54:00.001-04:00

Scorn!

I just realized that I missed yesterday. Sorry, internet. Yesterday I had ice cream and went for a walk.
Today, though, I had candy, and I did not go for any walks. Later today I'm going to a baby shower. I don't think there will be traditional baby shower games, though: a blessing.

2008-03-28T18:12:00.002-04:00

Adrift

Today I spent money on a PO box because I decided not to solve the continuing mystery of "Why I Do Not Get Most of My Mail". Wacky things have happened during the course of this mystery. The lease renewed automatically, for example. I missed several bills.
Worst: without the guidance of trained magazine professionals, I stopped knowing word one about what to do with my eyebrows. Now they roam freely where they will, and I have stopped being approached by talent scouts on the street.

Later tonight I have to go to a bar and watch people do magic tricks, and if I don't go, my departing teammates might think I don't love them. So. "Is this your card?" "Sorry, no, my card is made of gin."

2008-03-27T17:58:00.002-04:00

Dude, that's not profound.

I asked Vomitola what to write about the other day, and she said, "Pretend you took the bus." I can't. I haven't ridden the bus in probably a year, maybe more, since even before I got a car, I was taking the subway instead. I like all the steps. I dislike how the chaneg machines are always broken. But, really, the subways of Baltimore could have been revamped into palaces since the last time I checked, and I would have no way of knowing.

Other news: I burned some soup really badly the other day. I tried to put the kettle on so I could have some tea, but instead I turned on the burner under the giant pot of lentil soup my housemates had made. Except for the part closest to the plastic ladle that had been in there, it still tasted pretty good, but it made the whole house stink. I had sat in the living room allowing this to happen for a long time: lack of common sense, also perrenially stinky burners due to wild and free cooking style of household.

2008-03-26T17:54:00.002-04:00

It's official

I found out yesterday that Maryland has an official dessert, or is in the process of getting one. Later, while researching the dessert (Smith Island Cake), I found out that Maryland also has an official state Dinosaur(astrodon johnstoni). Maryland also has an official ex-boyfriend (Jeff) and official shoes (the brown ones).
I have no official shoes, and all my exes live in perpetuity.

2008-03-25T10:03:00.002-04:00

Hercules! Hercules!

A few months or a year ago, there was this wild party that got wilder after I left. I hear that the revelers stayed up until the wee hours of the morning, talking about...Greek mythology. One thing that came up was the labors of Hercules. Something, something, Augean stables...um...Lion...something. Pick someone up at the airport at rush hour...at DULLES. Set up sound equipment. This is why I leave parties early: everyone is funnier than me.
Besides, I usually have fretting to do at home. Lately, I've been fretting about plywood. Chipboard, really, OSB. 5/8", mostly. Tongue-in-groove. (I have heard that this sounds dirty, but since my own heart is full of nothing but heaping heaps of virtue, I wouldn't know).
My derby league is going to be bouting in a great venue this summer, the Du Burns arena in Canton. It's across from a large city parking lot (and the water), it's easy to find, and there's no mandatory ID check on the way in. If a TV station wants to come in and film, we don't have to clear it the the general's office, as we would at the Armory. There are even seats! Can you imagine? Fixed seating at a sporting event!
The only problem is that Du Burns can't take up their astroturf to accomdate us on the six given Saturdays between May and October, and we can't skate on astro turf. So, we have to whack together a quick subfloor from the chipboard, then put sportcourt (interlocking plastic tiles) down on top of that. Then we have to provide electrifying sports entertainment.
Then we have to take it all apart again and store it.
I think I would still rather do that than pick someone up at Dulles at rush hour, but, oh, what a summer it's going to be!
Season opens May 3rd.

2008-03-24T12:42:00.002-04:00

Good morning, content!

Except, it's afternoon. Already! I've been so productive I just didn't even notice!
This is actually a lie. I have been kind of slow and fuzzy today. That is not so bad. Is like a shetland pony.
I got some kind of cold or flu last week, and so I've spent a lot of time in coughing and curling up in a small ball. Tonight I'm going to derby practice for the first time in a week. I'm not looking forward to further coughing, but it is pretty fun to rollerskate, I guess. I don't know. If you like turning left, I guess.
Sometimes I think about picking up a new hobby, like growing my fingernails real long.

2008-03-23T22:28:00.000-04:00

Have you heard the good news?

Content challenge (what???) starts tomorrow.

tomorrow

2008-03-14T11:37:00.002-04:00

I'm not on the travel team this year, but I am on the B-team. Tomorrow at the bout, the B team is going to scrimmage DC's travel team. A sponsor has provided us uniforms, so I'll be in an oversized white unisex t-shirt with a picture of a foil-wrapped burrito on the front, and the word "addicted."

2008-01-26T00:51:00.000-05:00

You don't know me, but you don't like me
I gotta say, internet, I've been kind of a pill lately. Let's call it, "since last fall". Delicate crocuses are poking through the snowbanks by now, and still, I'm full of sass and bile. But, you know, it might be the new me.
My New Year's resolution was to goth it up for 2008. The new me has roughly the same hairstyle and color as the 15 year old me did. Up with that it I have gothed.

2007-10-30T08:17:00.000-04:00

Tigers can be tamed
Several of my friends have moved this year, either to new places in the city or to completely inaccessible parts of the country that I can't even spell. I drag home garbage anyway, because, because, because, because of all the wonderful things it does, like accumulate and obstruct paths. When someone who is about to move to Jupiter knows you do this, you end up with stuff.
Oh, blog. It has taken me 25 minutes to write this, and even I am bored with it. Where is the easy typing of yesteryear? My basic point here is that now I have a book with a very good illustration of a bunch of princesses being carried off by giant bees.

2007-10-29T09:04:00.000-04:00

Good morning, breakfast lovers. I'm the little engine that runs on spite, and ever shall it be. I try and think ten impossibly mean things before breakfast. (Spite trick: the longer you postpone breakfast, the more craftmanship and genuine feeling you can put into this task.)
Last night I dreamed I lived in a city high rise apartment building, and for some reason I had a horse in the apartment. The action of the dream picked up with me trying to smuggle the horse back out of the building without any of the doormen noticing. In the dream, I told someone, "Man, the people downstairs must HATE me. 'What the hell, do they have a HORSE up there or something?'" For in-dream humor, it's not so bad. May it be the worst joke you read all day.

2007-10-27T13:54:00.000-04:00

Breakfast!
It turns out that the guy who hit my car the other night actually knocked the bumper off kilter. No damage, indeed! Lesson learned about trying to gauge damages in the dark and the rain, I suppose.
Now: breakfast!

2007-10-26T20:32:00.000-04:00

Skip a day!
I had today off and accidentally slept til the early evening. I've asked around, though, and I didn't miss much. I knew when I went to sleep last night that it was a mistake not to undo the mischeif that been done to my hair in Frederick, but I went to sleep anyway, and when I woke up I knew it all over again.

2007-10-25T14:45:00.000-04:00

Items

-Last night a man hit my car with his truck. (Everything is fine. My car hits stuff harder than the truck hit it all the time. It is an organic part of the parking process.) I couldn't decide if he was drunk. My passenger pointed out that he might just be stupid.

-Today I am supposed to ride out to Frederick with one of my teammates to take part in a fashion show. She reports that the fashion show will take place in a pool hall. I am 10% concerned that this is a wet t-shirt contest, and 90% concerned that no matter what it is, it's in Frederick.