Friday, March 31, 2006 Tickets go on sale midnight tonight!
(Or, noon tomorrow in person!)
posted by Frenz |
3/31/2006 02:05:00 PM
1 comments
Tuesday, March 28, 2006 Derby all the time
It begins!
This is what I've been working hard for since last July. We had a dry run of a bout for last night's practice and invited our sponsors and familes and so forth. So many grandmas and kids!
My team got ruined, points-wise, but we made up for it in showmanship and violence.
I'm not trying to paint myself like a total badass or nothin', but I had to sit in the penalty box for a while for fighting. She started it.
It's going to be even better when we all have our uniforms. Our first real bout is only weeks away, and I'm going to explode from excitement beforehand.
You should come. I don't care if you live in New Zealand or whatever, because that's the same lame excuse you always use. Take off work, neglect your responsibilities and do whatever you must to get to Skateland on SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY April 23. Sleep out in line for a good seat getting in. Sell a kidney (sell it cheap--even the VIP seats are only $20). Sell your mother. You need to go.
Charm City Rollergirls Exhibition Bout!
Sunday, April 23rd
Doors @ 5pm
Bout begins @ 6pm
*Ticket information*
Tickets for our first bout go on sale on April 1st.
It's likely to sell out so buy your tickets early!!!
Tickets can be bought online at:
http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/4114
OR
Killer Trash and Atomic Books*
-VIP tickets are $20
(sitting on chairs)
-Regular admission is $12
(sitting on the floor or surrounding the rink standing)
These tickets as regular admission, seats are first come first serve. Come early if you want to get a good spot to see all the action!
Directions to Putty Hill Skateland:
8025 Belair Road Baltimore, MD 21236
Putty Hill Skateland is located off exit 32B (Belair Road exit) off Route I-695 1 mile on the right hand side (behind Denny's Restaurant). Free parking available!**
*Buy advance tickets, because we are going to sell out. Also, if you can find it in your heart to buy a ticket in person, I think we get more of a cut than if you click for them.
**That lot is small. Carpool if you can, and come early, because otherwise you'll be hiking up from K-mart. posted by Frenz | 3/28/2006 03:41:00 PM
5 comments
Monday, March 27, 2006 I'll grind your bones to make my bread
Tonight was open skate, just like old times. People badmouth Skateland, but I can't think of better training for a bout. People fly at you at knee level, and you aren't allowed to knock them down. It's all evasive action. Still, with derby taking up more of my time, I've been skipping open skates constantly, but now that I've started going again, they are so comforting. Skateland will never leave you behind. Same music, same people, same sweet moves. Love you.
In news that will later in this narrative prove to be related, I got dressed in a daze this morning, like I always do, and since all my work clothes and all my play clothes are dirty, I went into the clothes for Jupiter. The "when did I buy a caftan?" section of the closet. No caftans, today, though. Today I found some nice pants that I bought just for a job interview last fall. They reverse-paid for themselves. I never got the job. I never wore the pants again. I put them on this morning, and it was a good thing, because the sun is setting on these pants.
I could get them onto my body, but after a few more months of derby, my mighty thighs will bust out of them hulk-style. Like oaken beams. This hasn't happened before, and I'm fascinated. posted by Frenz | 3/27/2006 01:13:00 AM
1 comments
Saturday, March 18, 2006 every fancy ball
Yesterday was a 24-hour day for me. I scampered around on my hind legs like a little Keifer Sutherland, and the party didn't stop, except for the nap I took around 4 o'clock. I took it in real time, though.
I started my day at 6:30 AM in a dude-bar in Canton, and lord, were there dudes. Some were dressed as leprechauns. Some were wacky morning show DJs. Everyone was drinking 40 oz. beers: from here, my day just writes itself.
The Whiskey Brawl at the Ottobar was a great time, and if you missed it, WHY DO YOU KEEP KICKING YOURSELF? Huh? WHY DO YOU KEEP KICKING YOURSELF.
People kept handing me small plastic cups of glowing green liquid, and it was so disturbing to see that I did the best I could to dispose of it as quickly as possible. Sometimes, I looked down from the great height my skates afforded me, and I'd see that a creep had crept up. I said "Do you dare to spin the WHEEL?" Some creeps didn't, but others were good sports, for creeps.
I wore my skates the whole time. Evidentally, pee and spilled beer and whatever else is on the Ottobar floor makes you pretty fast. This is how all kinds of important inventions get discovered. posted by Frenz | 3/18/2006 05:50:00 PM
4 comments
Thursday, March 16, 2006 (not actually my dream)
Tomorrow morning I'm getting closer than ever to my dream of being a wacky morning zoo DJ when the Charm City Roller Girls appear on 98 Rock. The event is some sort of St. Patrick's Day breakfast, and it starts at 6:00 AM. Evidently, it's a special drinking breakfast.
This sounds perfect. Get me up even earlier than usual, put a giant green beer in my hand, and I'll get quotable or die trying. Maybe I should just carry an air horn and squeeze that in lieu of talking. Maybe I should adopt this policy all the time. posted by Frenz | 3/16/2006 12:22:00 PM
1 comments
Tuesday, March 14, 2006 You look like you like to party
Friday, Friday, Friday at the Ottobar the Charm City Roller Girls host the Whiskey Brawl.
-Carnival games like the infamous Wheel of Misfortune
-Shot girls on skates
-Some bands I don't care about
-Drink specials
-For some reason, a pinata--filled with grown-up prizes
That's this Friday the 17,
9 PM-2 am
I'll be working the Wheel of Misfortune from 10-12, so step right up, if you dare.
$8 in advance, $10 at the door
(The league gets 100% of advance sales)
You'll be kicking yourself for weeks if you miss this. posted by Frenz | 3/14/2006 12:31:00 PM
4 comments
Saturday, March 11, 2006 Doors closing
Today I was riding the DC Metro from the bottom of the Orange line to the top of the Green, because a friend of mine just got back from Australia and was throwing himself a welcome back party, and also because the damn MARC train doesn't run on the damn weekends, which is basically the only damn time I ever want to go to the damn DC damn metro area damn, so I had to do the Metro to commuter bus to light rail combination to get home.
I was very tired, and I had just started out. This bunch of stooges in some sort of sports jerseys and their stoogalettes in too much foundation moved directly in front of the train's doors when it pulled up to the station. They stood and tried to decide whether to get on or to wait for friends. People had to shove by them, and they still didn't move.
I got on and took a seat, and the doors closed. Immediately, someone in back of the train began to make high-pitched yelping noises. I felt guilty for judging the guys in the sports jerseys like I had. The yelps matched exactly the noises a young man who was "tetched in the head" would make whenever he came in for a haircut at my old job. Obviously, one or all of these young men were also tetched, and it was wrong to think ill of them.
The yelper changed his tune and began bellowing "Fuck!" instead. I didn't turn around, because it is impolite to stare.
He kept going. People in the seats around me started to peek over their shoulders, and then they started to act all shocked.
"No, dude, it's my arm, my fucking arm!" the stooge yelled. I finally looked, only to find that the stooge was trapped in the closed doors of the metro car.
I got a little bit interested. I wondered if his arm would get ripped off before my very eyes.
The stoogalettes and his bro stooges began to panic. They yanked on him. They screamed. The conductor announced on the loudspeaker that no one was to insert objects into the doors, and the bellowing got louder. For five glorious minutes, this jerk learned a valuable lesson about ettiquette and prudence. posted by Frenz | 3/11/2006 07:25:00 PM
4 comments
Thursday, March 09, 2006 What kind of bearings do you have???
One of my housemates is play a Tuvan throat-singing version of "Love will tear us apart". I love it. I love it much more than the "world music" cover of "Hotel California" that I have had to hear quite a bit recently. What kind of monster would think the world needed one further isotope of that already deadly song? Someone in foreign parts, evidently.
I've been reading about the skate-wheel shortage panic that's sweeping roller derby right now. A big manufacturer, Hyper, is in the process of moving to Italy, so no one can get any of their stuff including blue Witch Doctors, the favorite of many derby skaters. Also, other, comparable brands are selling out all over the place. I wonder if people are hoarding high-end skate wheels in their basements. I wish I had thought to.
Our first bout is in less than two months, and I'm pretty boring to talk to right now because of it. Except for fellow derby nerds. We can talk for hours about roller skating, skate parts, strategy, and where to purchase durable stockings. posted by Frenz | 3/09/2006 08:26:00 PM
3 comments
Tuesday, March 07, 2006 goo goo ga ga roller derby
Today I skated around on the sidewalks near work and blew mind after mind. Pow, Baltimore. I have wheeled feet, like the people of the future.
This kind of thing is all I care about writing about lately, with little footnotes on the subway and how I would love it except for 1)Its employees, who yell at you for no damn reason and 2)Every machine of every kind in every station in this whole town is broken. If it does not appear to be broken, that is nothing but a lie, like the birds who pretend to have injured wings, just to lure predators away. I am not a predator, but when three of three change machines spit out my dollar, and then the person in the booth acts as though I've done something very wrong, I get tired.
But I can't stay mad long. I am just wild about modes of transportation. Every station is decorated individually and inexplicably. Close to my house, it's jagged, looming mobiles suspended from the ceiling. Close to work, it is screen print after screen print in teal and orange. What the prints depict is up for debate. Tracy's guess of the world of rotten eggs seems as accurate as any. posted by Frenz | 3/07/2006 11:18:00 PM
1 comments
Thursday, March 02, 2006 The rich inner life of the mind
The other day I was in the guitar store for some reason, and I felt like getting ignored, so I bought some headphones. It was awesome. I had to go up to two different counters and two different dudes carrying the item I wanted to get before they deigned to take my money. You deliver every damn time, guitar store jerks.
I destroyed the last little earbuds I had within a week, so I got big, nerdy studio headphones instead. One of the first times I ever hung out with my dad's sister, Aunt P. (outside of babyhood), she told me that when they were kids, my dad used to hole up in his room with a stereo he built. She said he wore giant headphones and looked like he was from outer space.
I've never built a stereo. Never once! Certainly not out of vacuum tubes and rough stone knives like my dad undoubtedly did. Every time I see him, he asks if I'm still writing. It's easiest to say that I'm not, because "Do blogs and shit count?" leads down some dark alleys that I'd prefer not to walk with my parents. He looks disappointed instead, and tries to encourage me. "You were always a good little writer." My dad doesn't understand that I'm from outer space.
My new headphones came at just the right time, because I'm willing it to be Spring, and since it's Spring, it means it's time to start skating outside. I skated from home to the subway station and from the closest station to work the other day, and even though I live and die for attention sometimes, I worry that skates on the public sidewalk would be a conversation piece. I hate that kind of conversation.
I am from outer space. I have wheels on my feet, and I can't hear a damn thing anybody's saying. It would work better if I could glide smoothly past the world, but the secret truth is, I don't know how to skate outdoors on uneven pavement yet. I was too cool to wear padding the other day when I tried this for the first time, and now my palms and knees are scraped and pitted, and one more pair of pants is torn.
I'm a little bit afraid that if I get into the habit of listening to music instead of the world around me, I'm going to miss cues like car horns and get myself into trouble that way. I think I'm going to chance that until I get a new personality, though. posted by Frenz | 3/02/2006 11:43:00 PM
1 comments
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